


Nick Bottom Is In Love With An Egg

by feelingalright (acididal)



Series: Shits & Giggles & Fics [2]
Category: Something Rotten! - Kirkpatrick/Kirkpatrick/O'Farrell
Genre: Character Death, Crack, Death, Eggs, Food, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Parental Death, Kissing, Nigel Bottom (mentioned), Objectification, Other, Weird Plot Shit, Wordcount: 200
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29391672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acididal/pseuds/feelingalright
Summary: God help my soul.
Relationships: Nick Bottom (Something Rotten!)/Egg
Series: Shits & Giggles & Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2158458
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Nick Bottom Is In Love With An Egg

Once upon a time, there was a Nick Bottom. Nick Bottom despised people, celebrities, _everything_.

But there was one thing he adored. You see, the man loved eggs. He loved eggs very much. He loved eggs to the point he wanted to date and marry one.

So he did just that.

However, he had to fight tooth and nail for the church to verify his marriage. They deemed his marriage too "obscene" and "sinful". Yet he fought back, stating that if men and women could marry then so should humans and eggs. In the end, the church let him marry his precious egg which Nick named Eggnelica on the marriage papers. 

Nick and Eggnelica lived a happy, carefree life. Nick had encounters every now and then where people and animals tried to take his precious egg wife away. He set up traps around his house to try and stop them and in turn, they did. Nick would go to hell and back for Eggnelica.

Unfortunately, one day, Nick dropped Eggnelica while the two were eating dinner. Eggnelica's gigachunk shell broke in two, her yellow gooey insides out. Nick collapsed into a sobbing mess and mourned over his lost egg wife. 

Later that week, Nick held a funeral for Eggnelica. His brother was the only one to attend due to the stigma. Eggnelica was buried beside their parents. Nick would stop by Eggnelica's grave every month to talk to her even if she couldn't hear him.

On one visit, Nick saw that someone had pelted eggs at Eggnelica's grave. And besides it, was a note signed W.S.


End file.
